Most of us set or reaffirm goals at the beginning of a new year. We at Unified Caring Association (UCA) have many caring tools and resources for our members. With the symbology of 2020, we want to help bring into focus great ways to help set attainable goals to achieve more caring in your life and the lives of those you love. We are ready to begin a 2020 clear sighted year!
Why Set Goals?
Many of us want to make changes in our lives. How we do that effectively is to set goals. Goals are great triggers for changes in lifestyles and behavior. Goals help guide our focus and overcome procrastination. Life can be overwhelming and that focus is important. When goals are attainable they help sustain momentum and give us ways to measure progress. Ultimately, goal setting helps develop our lives into more fulfilling and caring.
How do you set good goals?
There are so many ways to set ourselves up for success. Overall, they have some elements in common: a mission or vision statement, the steps to achieve the goal are chunked into smaller parts, and focusing on self-reflection to see what you really want and can achieve. There are three main acronyms in different goal setting strategies: SMART, CLEAR, and GROW.
SMART Goals are specific. The clearer and unambiguous the goal statement, the easier it is to keep that goal in mind. These specific goals need to be measurable, that way you can keep track of the goal’s progress. SMART Goals are realistic goals. Taking the time to reflect on what you can actually do to achieve the main goal. Is it realistic and attainable to hike Kilimanjaro in your first month of exercise? Probably not if you have not hiked much in your life. Lastly, SMART Goals need to be time-specific. Build in an end date to achieve your SMART Goal. If you goal is to be able to hike to the top of Kilimanjaro, then pick a realistic date to summit the mountain.
CLEAR Goals are great for those who prefer more innovation. These goals are collaborative, which can help us be more accountable. Also, CLEAR Goals are limited in scope and time. For example, you could want to join a yoga class for 12 weeks. CLEAR Goals build in an emotional investment to help drive us to achieve our goal. Goals need to be broken down into manageable steps, and therefore appreciable. CLEAR Goals are more flexible to allow for unexpected life events, and are therefore refinable. It is ok to readdress your goals if you are suddenly sick, or have an unexpected family event.
GROW Goals allow for a lot of introspective reflection because they as questions to drive the plan. The “G” in GROW is asking, “What the overall goal is that your want to achieve.” This is like the thesis or vision you want to achieve, “I want to meditate more.” Next, we ask questions that inquire what the reality of achieving that goal is. If we look at our example of meditation, take a look at how often you meditate now. What are our options to achieve this goal? Reflecting on your week to see how you can achieve your goals is important to be able to make smaller achievable steps to be successful. The last letter, “W,” is asking you what will you be willing to do? Are you actually willing to set aside 20 minutes a day to meditate? Or are you willing to set aside 20 minutes every other day?
These three examples of goal setting methods are just the surface. There are so many different acronyms and techniques that are out there for setting goals. What is important is to get the ball rolling by getting clear, setting up a plan, and taking action to achieve your goals. With 2020 clear sighted goals at the beginning of the year, we can bring more caring into our lives, filling us with energy, and excitement!
In our search for 2020 clear sighted goal setting, we came across a great TedTalk by John Doerr. In this he gives examples of interactions with people who are cracking the secret to success through setting strong, tangible goals. Click Here to watch the full video!
Would you like to read our other blogs on Gut-Brain Connection, Monitoring Health With Biofeedback , and our caring acts? Maybe you would like an added smile to your day on your social media timeline? Find us on Pinterest, Tumblr, Twitter, and Instagram. We look forward to posting more about what is happening in our caring community and promoting a more positive and kind world!
Moonbeam for Emotions
On the adventure of life, we have a slew of emotions that can be difficult to understand. Unified Caring Association (UCA) has a tool to help us all out: Moonbeam Feeling Pack. Moonbeam is a way for us to begin understanding and harnessing emotions, to reach goals, and to connect with others in new and enlightening ways that can fill out hearts with joy!
Moonbeam Feeling Pack
UCA has a wonderful and caring tool to help us identify feelings. Creative cards depict a range of emotions from sadness to happiness and stressed to enlightened. Moonbeam, the easy-to-remember name of the character, helps illuminate connections between emotions we are having. The deck of cards includes 144 emotion cards with Moonbeam images. This deck has 72 heavy emotions and the corresponding positive emotions to help the user learn how to transmute our emotions. To further assist the user, there is a feeling dictionary with definitions of all the emotions in this deck of cards. When we “face” our feelings, we can use them for good. We can find our way to better self-care, wellness, happiness, and wisdom.
Emotional intelligence (E.Q.) is a field of study that can be thought of a lot like intelligence quota (I.Q.) in the sense that we can develop and train our minds to become increasingly smarter and our hearts to recognize emotions. One example of E.Q. in action is through the ability to keep emotions, like stress, from overtaking or disrupting our lives. With clear understanding of what E.Q. is, we are better equipped to manage life and all stressors it can contain. There are many different models designed by psychologists for emotional intelligence. Daniel Goleman’s is the one that is most often referenced. Five key areas of emotional intelligence are outlined as: self-awareness, self-management, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Understanding our emotions ties into self-management. This skill involves the ability to reflect upon your emotions and better make choices.
Developing E.Q. Through Moonbeam
To help grow caring children, teens, and skills sets like E.Q., UCA’s Moonbeam Feeling Pack is a key resource. This pack is available online in our Caring Community Store. This tool will help develop life skills in communication with others and ourselves. Once we can own and harness these feelings, we can promote healing, authenticity and positivity in ourselves and our caring communities. “Being emotionally smart means being able to feel and deal with emotions [yours and other people’s].” (Unified Caring Association)
Developing E.Q. is a lot like meditation, gratitude journaling, or other healthy habits. They all take conscious practice with the intention to better our lives. Try these steps for 21 days to develop a habit of strengthening your emotional intelligence skills.
OR at the start of each morning….
Emotions can be confusing for us in the moment, but with time and practice we can better navigate them. One resource that we can use is the Moonbeam Feeling Pack and Dictionary found on Unified Caring Association’s website. With this tool, we can practice identifying and transmuting emotions while strengthening our emotional Intelligence. Once we begin to understand emotions (ours and those of others) we can more fully and honestly communicate with others, our caring communities, and the world.
Would you like to know more about Unified Caring Association? Check out our blogs on Shaping Your Heart, Monitoring Health with Biofeedback, and Appreciation Techniques: Heart-Focused Breathing & Heart-Lock In! Would you like to keep up with UCA activities? Check us out on Pinterest, Instagram, Tumblr, and Twitter for updates throughout the week!
First we see the world; then we crawl to explore; next we walk to share how much we care; then we run, experiencing all we can. But what happens after we run? Mid-life brings up a slew of new questions. We at Unified Caring Association (UCA) celebrate each stage of life, the adventure that can happen, and strive to have caring tools and resources for our UCA members. During the stage of mid-life, we can have a very different adventure than running head-long into crisis.
A majority of UCA’s members are entering or in this time of life.
Often when we arrive to ages 45-65, we can enter a “mid-life crisis.” So much research has gone into this phenomena, and this mid-life time has become much better understood. There are ways to thrive during this time. What an exciting thought to have a mid-life NO crisis! We can by learning our needs at this very stage in life. We developed a simple tool called “Mid-Life NO Crisis” that helps people focus on being strong and powerful in their Mid-Life stages. This is a time of changing needs, and attitude plays a big role. Choosing to be vital and thrive makes all the difference to emerge strong into the next stage of life.
The 5 Areas
Five areas demand our attention when we are entering or going through mid-life. These focus on nutrition, caring for our minds, our relationships, and more!
Mid-Life NO Crisis
UCA’s Mid-Life NO Crisis is a kit of 4 x 6” high-quality cards. These cards cover the five areas listed in the infographic above that demand our attention in mid-life. Accompanying this deck of cards are instructions and suggestions for their use. This is a caring resource for UCA members at no cost! What a great deal and addition to all of our caring tools and resources that our members have access too!
Soon, the Mid-Life NO Crisis kit will also be made available for purchase to the public. Watch for it in the Caring Community Store.
We at UCA are always looking for new ways to share caring with our UCA members and caring community. Whether it is caring apps for growing caring children and teens, self-care tools to energize our minds, or resources for caregivers who help care for seniors we are growing and love sharing it all with ur caring community! With caring tools, tips and tricks, and resources we can travel our life’s journey with little or not crises.
Would you like to read more about Unified Caring Association? Caring Connection 24-7, UCA & Scholarships, How to Improve the World By Caring, and It All Starts With Self-Care are just some of our other blogs that are wonderful, quick reads. Or, check out our website to read more about Unified Caring Association memberships, caring communities, our Caring Challenge and more!
“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.” (Tony Schwartz) There are many things that we all have in common. One thing which we have in common is that we all want to be good people. Our efforts can be seen through reforestation efforts, caring for the elderly, or other self-care techniques like meditation. Recently, we at Unified Caring Association (UCA) watched an interesting TedTalk by Dolly Chugh. A woman who enlightens us to the self-inquiry about what it means to be a “good person,” and how letting go of that restrictive definition can help us grow to become a better person.
The Perception of a “Good Person”
Dolly Chugh mentions at the beginning of her TedTalk that she studies the psychology of “good people.” Dolly says, “Research in my field says many of us care deeply about feeling like a good person and being seen as a good person. The problem is that we may not all have the same definition. Whatever our definition is, that moral identity is important to many of us. Meaning that our perception of ourselves is often differs from that of others. We can have a communication breakdown when there is a misalignment. This misalignment can cause us discomfort. Many of us can get stuck in a rut with this awkward, uncomfortable uneasiness. We want to remain attached to our concept of what a good person is and how we fit that definition.
Dolly poses a great question, “What if I told you that our attachment to being good people is getting in the way of us being better people?” Woah! Our definition of a good person often is narrow and impossible to meet. This doesn’t seem fair to others or ourselves. What do we do then? Let go of being this idealistic good person to become a better person.
The definition of bounded rationality is when our decision-making processes in our minds is limited by sets of information. In addition to this, we have a finite amount of time to process this information to make a decision. Kind of like a shortcut, we can quickly access these concepts and make a decision without even taking time to think about it. People often hold fast to these parameters and definitions. Sometimes bounded rationality is referred to as a fixed-mindset. The opposite of this is a growth mindset. A growth mindset is where we are open to new parameters, ideas, and concepts in an effort to expand our information and make better decisions.
Dolly Chugh and her associates took the concept of bounded rationality to define a new stance that they call bounded ethicality. “We have a human mind that is bounded in some sort of way and relying on shortcuts, and that those shortcuts can sometimes lead us astray … With bounded ethicality, the human mind, the same human mind, is making decisions.” Dolly makes a good point when she continues on to remark, “unconscious bias is one place where we see the effects of bounded ethicality. So unconscious bias refers to associations we have in our mind, the shortcuts your brain is using to organize information, very likely outside of your awareness, not necessarily lining up with your conscious beliefs.”
OK, So Example Time!
Dolly gives us multiple examples of letting go in her TedTalk, but one stands out to us. If we think about it, we can see the effects of bounded ethicality when we experience conflicts of interest. “We tend to underestimate how much a small gift … can affect our decision making. We don’t realize that our mind is unconsciously lining up evidence to support the point of view of the gift-giver, no matter how hard we’re consciously trying to be objective and professional.” If you accept that small gift that can sway your decision making, you are possibly placing yourself into being less than a good person. Despite all of our efforts to be a good person, we can make mistakes that cause us much strife. “…despite our best attempts, and we explain away our mistakes rather than learning from them.” (Chugh)
Once we make a mistake, we can become defensive because we are uncomfortable with violating our own image of being a good person. We fight to maintain the notion that we are a good person, rationalizing and giving excuses as to why we chose an action that made us less than a good person. “…the latest work that I’ve been doing on bounded ethicality with Mary Kern says that we’re not only prone to mistakes — that tendency towards mistakes depends on how close we are to that red zone [being defensive or angry]. So most of the time, nobody’s challenging our good person identity, and so we’re not thinking too much about the ethical implications of our decisions, and our model shows that we’re then spiraling towards less and less ethical behavior most of the time.” We can see this when we tell ourselves it is ok to have another cookie, it is small, and we have already eaten more than we should have.
What About if Someone Else Calls Us Out?
Somebody else might challenge our identity as a “good person.” Upon reflection, we can find that we may be challenging this view ourselves. “So the ethical implications of our decisions become really [important], and in those cases, we spiral towards more and more good person behavior, or, to be more precise, towards more and more behavior that makes us feel like a good person.” (Chugh)
Letting Go = Learning
Dolly’s idea when dealing with being bounded ethicality is that we sometimes can overestimate the importance our inner compass when it comes to making ethical decisions. “We perhaps are overestimating how much our self-interest is driving our decisions, and perhaps we don’t realize how much our self-view as a good person is affecting our behavior, that in fact, we’re working so hard to protect that good person identity, to keep out of that red zone, that we’re not actually giving ourselves space to learn from our mistakes and actually be better people.”
We might expect this to be easy, but often letting go is hard. The definition most of us have for a good person is an either-or. You are either a good person or not, you have integrity or you do not.
To learn and update our knowledge, we often have to go through processes like reading or talking to experts. One process is by learning from our mistakes, and getting better with each iteration. “But when it comes to being a good person, we think it’s something we’re just supposed to know, we’re just supposed to do, without the benefit of effort or growth.”
A Good-ish Person
Dolly Chugh proposes a concept that meets in the middle of the two concepts of a good person and a bad person. This concept is a “good-ish person.” She says, “…everyone just forget about being good people, just let it go, and instead, set a higher standard, a higher standard of being a good-ish person? A good-ish person absolutely still makes mistakes.” This middle ground of a good-ish person allows for a second something we all share, being human, making mistakes, and learning from them. “… as a good-ish person, I’m trying to learn from [mistakes], own them. I expect them and I go after them…As a good-ish person, in fact, I become better at noticing my own mistakes.”
Admitting that you are flawed or made a mistake can place us in a vulnerable position. But it is through reflection during the vulnerability that we can assess our definition of being a good person, the consequences of our decisions, and grow. Eventually we will see progress, growth, and begin to develop a new concept that allows us to get better.
We at UCA are always trying to share caring information, resources, and news to our caring community. If you would like to read more about letting go, problem solving, and engaging with our emotions. Or we have daily caring notes on social media (Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Twitter). We are looking forward to sharing the caring post with you!
Think abundantly. Energy follows intention.
Our thinking habits can be very predictive of our outcomes.
Training our minds to see the positive, focusing on abundance and investing our energy into the manifestation of good outcomes can help to make our goals more achievable. In order to see the positive – we must be the positive! It has been said that we become what we think, and there is certainly some truth to that! Positive thoughts definitely help to create positive results. Remember: energy follows intention, so if we desire something positive in life, we cannot be distracted by the negative!
Break the habit of negativity!
How do I break the habit of negativity? It’s true that old habits are heard to break! But, a simple shift and re-framing of our language can be a big help. How we talk about our life experiences makes a difference. Rather than referring to a disappointing situation as a failure, we can shift our thinking and language to describe it as an opportunity for improvement. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, we find ourselves looking forward to the changes we can make to improve our future experiences. In this way, small shifts in perspective can make great incremental changes in our perception. Change your perspective – change your reality!
Start the day off right!
It’s so exciting to realize that we can create a more positive world today just by sprucing up our own thinking! We can go forward into each day with a positive mindset and actually create a better world! Starting off the day with a positive affirmation or two can help us to climb out of a negative mindset and harness our positive energy. In addition, they are a powerful self-esteem booster! When we point our “inner voice” in a more positive direction more positive results become possible. By reducing negative comments about ourselves and the world around us, our opportunities open up. We stop talking ourselves down into believing that we are not good enough, and instead start driving positive change into our lives.
What if I get stuck?
Look, everyone gets stuck from time to time. As we grow, we change, and the same things that used to fit into our lives nicely may feel out of place to you now. If you find yourself feeling negative about a situation despite your best efforts, that’s a clue to re-evaluate. It may be that the situation as you are experiencing it, no longer serves you. Meaning, you have grown past it’s purpose in your life and are ready for something new!
Self care is the way to go!
Taking time to re-calibrate and focus the direction your life is going in is essential to happiness. Checking in with yourself to see how you are really feeling about a situation, rather than just pushing through it, can make all the difference in the world! True self-care requires that we create a regular routine of de-stressing, accessing and assessing. People who have great self-care practices often use relaxation techniques and have someone to talk to when they are feeling stressed. Employing these two self-care practices alone can make a huge difference in our quality of life. Self-care is not selfish … it is necessary!
Release what no longer serves you to move forward in your life
To move forward in life, you must un-anchor from practices you have outgrown and let go of what no longer serves you. Staying stuck in old habits and patterns will keep you stuck with old results and disappointments. Moving forward depends on your ability to let go of and release what no longer serves you. Therefore, to create a new result you must define a new approach.
Do you ever feel as though there aren’t enough hours in the day? Or that you run from the moment you wake up until the day is done? These feelings are clues that it may be time to re-evaluate what occupies your time and see what you can let go of. As you re-evaluate what’s important, you may find that some things you previously felt were important to have in your life, are now only holding you back. Because we are creatures of habit, changing this can be difficult. However, it’s totally worth the effort! Taking time for personal reflection is a great investment in your happiness. So, reflect, rethink and reinvent often!
Move forward by looking inward
To move on to greater happiness you are called to release old habits and patterns and bravely travel a new path. When you’ve learned all you can learn from a situation, it is time to evolve! By letting go of what no longer serves us we make room for in our life for more that DOES! We cannot fill what is already full, so we must make room for the new!
You may be thinking, “This all makes sense on the surface, but how exactly do I do this?” Self assessment tools are a great place to start. Through a series of specially chosen questions a good self assessment test can identify opportunities for improvement in your life. Your review of the areas needing attention may even identify a core issue you can improve upon. For example, if time management is problem, the underlying issue may be that you have a hard time asking others for help. Similarly, if you are feeling dissatisfied at work, the underlying issue could be that you are in the wrong profession. Self assessment tools can help us to see our life in a different light and guide us toward the answers we are searching for.
Self-assessment tools are one of the many self-care benefits that Unified Caring Association members enjoy. UCA created their user friendly self-assessment test to help their members along their journey of self-improvement. They routinely encourage their members through social media posts to slow down and take a look inward to create a more caring lifestyle. The reviews are in, if you are looking for caring support, self assessments and caring resources, Unified Caring Association can help!
Living in full self-expression helps you to tune in to your inner guidance system and live an inspired life that only YOU can live.
Dare to be yourself, no matter how different it makes you feel from the rest of the crowd. Authenticity affords you the privilege of becoming who you were truly meant to be. The world is counting on you. We need you to be YOU and no one else. You just need to show up!
Being authentic simply means working to uncover your true self. However, sometimes what we discover is not what we were hoping for. When this happens, we must review, reflect and retry. In other words, we must align our actions with our values. No one is perfect! Living our lives from a place of awareness and consciousness helps us to become the best version of our true self. Authenticity helps us to process our feelings through accuracy and truth, rather than through an illusion.
At UCA, we care about your life. We want to help you have a better life, a more vibrant life and a healthier life. Our specially curated benefits and resources are designed to encourage self care, and promote greater happiness. Let us help you be healthier, inspire more caring acts for yourself, family and community, and save money through our many member discounts and savings benefits. Become a UCA member today!